Day 1

August 4th, 2006
I am sure most of you read my bad news and I just wanted to tell everyone thank you for all of your support. It's one of those things to where you go to sleep thinking about it and it's the first thing you think of when you wake up. I told Bryan last night that I am so thankful that it's me going through this because I know if Emory or Bryan had this then it would a lot harder for me to cope. I just don't know what to say right now about my life. I told Bryan how do I inform everyone? Do I say "I have cancer?" or do I hide it so people will not think of me any differently? I don't even know how to talk about myself or how to address my problem. The possibility of radiation after the baby is born just scares me. I am so fearful of not being able to have the strength or energy to raise my children. I am all about breastfeeding too. Will this mean I cant do that? This being my first day to think through things it's just really surreal to me. I just wanted to share some of my thoughts because I'm just still in shock and don't even know what to think of it all. Again thank you so much for everything and I do appreciate everyone's support. I just needed to vent and share some of my thoughts.